International Women's Day | March 2021

How Are You (Really) Doing?​

It’s been a strange year for women. Forty years after we slammed the door on the private sphere to never look back, Covid-19 snatched us from our offices and shared working spaces, and here we are, home again.

Women were called to the flag this year like never before. What we used to call “the first and the second shift” were suddenly collapsed into a single, blurry, never-ending workday. 

This was the year when we negotiated contracts while flipping pancakes, caught up with colleagues as we scrubbed crayons off the wall, dreamed up products and distribution lines while soothing crying babies. 

Which begs the question: After a year of being stay-at-home breadwinners, full-time parents and ad-hoc crisis managers, how are women really doing? 

That’s why we created the “How You Doin’” project. We wanted to give each woman on our team a moment for self-reflection and a safe space to talk about her losses and victories in the last year. We did that by asking each woman one simple question: “How are you really doing”. 

We are the women of vcita, and these are our stories; 
 

Yael

As a working mom, that was juggling for years between work and family, I was always hesitating even just asking for working from home.
This pandemic year taught all of us, men and women, that working from home is possible and even productive.
I believe that this lesson will impact the work-life balance of so many of us!

Nele

"My dad was one of the first covid deaths in Belgium exactly 1 year ago.

For me, this pandemic year has been about managing with 2 full-time jobs and 2 small kids lockdown after lockdown.

But above all, this year has been about grief that wasn't.
Grief that couldn't. Grief that's waiting to be dealt with and felt, once I'll get to finally fly out and see my family again since before we were hit with this trauma.

This last year was the one year I really needed to find some time for myself and it was the one year where that simply wasn't possible.

So how am I really doing?
I'm hurting, but surviving.
Which sounds heavy. But it has been a heavy year. And part of surviving is also living.
We are alive and we overcame.

Through all of it, there was the light of a strong family unit, the time of bonding with the kids, and a period to reflect on what matters to us.
It can only go up from here."

Skylar

This year has taught me all about how to adapt!

I'll be the first to admit I am a creature of habit. I enjoy routine, and structure, I thrive in an environment with certainty. But this year taught me how to let go of control and adapt. I was terrified of starting a new job, going remote with a young child at home but I've proven that anything is possible.

I will be happy when this is all over and forever grateful to have learned a new part of myself through the journey.

Adi

This year, I feel a deep sense of responsibility, weighing heavier on my shoulders than ever before.

As individuals, being kind, generous with our time and in our actions, has the power to change someone’s day, someone’s career, someone’s life.

My role requires me to be many things to many people, and some days I am not able to hold myself to the high standard I believe in, but I remind myself that this year, this challenge, is where I find my purpose.

Bella

Fresh out of high school, I joined a program to get some technical and business skills because I knew there was more to life than I was living. I asked myself, “Why couldn’t a young African American woman do something with her life.?

Not only was I the youngest to graduate from my class, but I earned a full-time position at the age of 18 years old at the company I interned for. I’m in my 20’s and now that I’ve had an amazing and tough experience of the corporate world as a young African woman.

I'm currently working for the most amazing company as a Client Success Manager, where for once in my career, I felt like I belong not only as a woman but also as a young person of color. It has made 2020-2021 covid pandemic easier to deal with mentally. I would not have imagined being where I am now 4 years ago. Having a single mother who struggled to take care of me & my siblings, being the oldest of two who looked up to me, struggling with depression & feeling like I was nothing was tough. Being in a pandemic does not help either, but I’ve been fortunate enough to wake up every day to do what I love at a company with an amazing culture and see women in leadership that provide guidance, support, and mentorship to become a woman of leadership one day.

I could not be grateful enough for those people that were around me who helped me get here. I certainly could not have done it without you all.

Noa

For me this year was all about learning and practicing the "new" roles in my life: Becoming a mother and starting a new career;

One thing I realized is that I can juggle much better than I ever thought I could. On the other hand, I had to put aside things that I considered instrumental to my well being like “me-time” and seeing friends and family.

WIth everything that's been going on this year, I still feel incredibly lucky and I thank God for all the blessings in my life. I have a steady job, a balanced life and a healthy family. That’s a lot.

I hope that soon 2020 will become a distant memory 🙂

Gili

The past year has taught me a lot about myself.
I gave birth to twins just at the beginning of the pandemic. I didn't enjoy my maternity leave as much as I had expected to, especially since my partner’s and my own parents couldn’t be there with us.

I also decided to quit my job, probably at the worst time ever, and started looking for my next challenge. That meant juggling between three little babies, interviews, home assignments, and staying sane.

I had a lot of breaking points and I tried to look at everything from an optimistic point of view and embrace the opportunity to be at home with my family and watch my kids grow.

I continued to believe in my abilities and knew that not having a job was only a temporary situation, and indeed it was. My lesson is to always believe in yourself, and good things will follow.

Sivan

How am I really doing? I don’t know. I didn’t have the time to stop and check my pulse.

Like many moms, I was managing two full time jobs between home and work, but what made it truly impossible were my expectations of myself. This year has been about feeling like a failure.

I wasn’t the mom I always strive to be. My morals didn’t always stand up to the test, and I was disappointed with myself. The more disappointed I was, the less patient I was to my kids. I was too busy judging myself, that I didn’t have room for them.

I wasn’t the employee I knew I could be, and I started doubting can I ever be that again? Is it really the effect of Covid, or am I in the wrong profession? I joined the company right before the second lockdown, and it often felt like I’m trying to complete an MBA without ever attending one class or knowing anyone.

I also wasn’t good to myself. I was beating myself up on all of the above, without any outlets to set my doubts free. No team sports, no high intensity workouts, no hugging my friends, no alone time.

But It’s a double edged sword. My striving to succeed is also what makes me the ultimate survivor. So yeah, I may be a little dusty, dent, broken on the side - but who isn’t.

Shelly

2020 for me was a zoom-in year - not zoom the video conferencing product, but a focus dictated by the platform.

Since office work-life was not an option, there was less time for networking, mingeling office chit chat, and more room to focus on your core family and core team.

It was a year of team building, and getting to know more the friends , family and coworkers that are most important for you.

Hamutal

This was a BIG year for me. I became a mother and discovered new levels of love. In that matter, it might have helped me to go through 2020 more easily.

The way I see it, COVID-19 allowed me to make peace with some choices I’ve made, appreciate what I have accomplished, and basically start focusing on what I have rather than what I don’t have.

Now all I have left is to figure how to juggle that work-life thing. That will keep me busy for at least another year.

Shir

The last year has been the most challenging of my life.

I was unemployed for the first time. job interviews were canceled at the last minute because there is an epidemic and nothing is clear.
Little kids lost the routine they so desperately needed.
No more restaurants, cafes, family events…

And out of all this I made a decision, I decided to take a different perspective on life, relax and just be. Connect with my family, my home, myself.

Eventually I enjoyed the break I took, I spent time with my family and developed new hobbies.

I realized now, there's nothing I can not do, but there are things I just never want to do again 🙂

Galit

My mood changes every 2 hours so most of the time I don't know How I'm doing...

I can safely say that this year has been the craziest year of my life!
I moved to my own place during Covid, had some of my biggest fears realised, got some negative people out of the way & came out stronger.

Liat

2020 was a challenging, weird, and scary year, worldwide.

For me, this was the year when I lost my wonderful dad. He died after very hard months of fighting cancer. I lost him too early.

As Israel is slowly making a comeback from the Coronavirus, I am still a long way from recovering from my own loss. Keeping busy with family and work helps me stay focused and productive and I hope that the coming year will be better!

Lee

During lockdown, I reconnected with an old childhood friend to whom I had written letters two decades earlier when I was an adolescent living abroad.
That was back when there was no such thing as WhatsApp or any other social media platform, and the easiest and fastest way of communication technology was using a fax.
We exchanged our old letters, and boy that was a priceless journey in time. each one got a sneak peek at her own, 20 years old, thoughts and interests.
We each got an emotional reminder of how it is important to pause, self reflect, and find old yet fresh insights about ourselves.

Hila

For me, two words describe this year: it's complicated.

Like everything in life, the bad things live alongside with good things, and wise verses.
Since I can remember my professional life, as an event producer, I was always busy. Busy with deadlines, stress, and adrenaline. All this, one day, as simple as that - had stopped.

A lot of good staff happened this year - I had moments of silence, and simplicity and clearness - that were so rare before. I spent much more time with my kids, I bought much less, and I learned that the race of life can stop sometimes - and the sky did not fall down.

I also learned that no matter what, I am essential.
And no matter what,
I'm really ok.

Iris

The last year was more of a roller coaster to me, than anything else.

There were low moments, where I found myself at home in a long lockdown with 3 kids, 1 dog, 5 daily zoom's at least and a busy laptop with emails and tasks, wearing sweatpants day after day and missing the daily routine which once seemed so generic.

And then there were those top moments, where the time spent with my family allowed me to close the gap that opened through the years as me being a working mom who was not always around.
Those moments that we got to have lunch together every day, hang out in front of Netflix and laugh, play remicob, take the dog for 6 walks a day, cook and bake like there's no tomorrow...those moments were priceless.
So yes, it was a hell of a ride, with ups and downs, laughs and cries and family moments that will last us for a lifetime.
So how am I really doing?
Can't complain.
It was a year to remember.
And now i'm ready to move on 🙂

Maya

This past Covid year has required me to convey a sense of control, leadership and peace of mind, at both my main current roles in life – a mother of 3 energetic boys, and a COO of a 140+ employee company.

In both these roles I was required to deliver fast and make decisions where much was unknown, and which immediately affected people’s lives. I did my best to express and generate certainty even when there wasn’t any, to find creative solutions so that gears continue to shift, and do so while showing maximum sensitivity, empathy & patience against this unreal reality.

And when you need to navigate the unknown, this sheds a new light on choices you made when things were normal and predictable. I can now say that I managed to get through this period and its challenges thanks to the partners I chose way before it began, and who proved themselves once again. At home I won with my very own partner Tamar, and at work I won with my team, my fellow management members and my CEO. I am very grateful for them. And I’m grateful that each of my two worlds supported me in making sure that the other flourishes too, even given the circumstances.

And now, after focusing totally on my family & work, 24/7, literally day & night – I’m starting to find some peace of mind for myself. Post-Covid, here I come.

Netta

This was, and still is, an intense period.
A lot more things needed to happen simultaneously, at home and at work.
Everything moved faster and slower at the same time, and the days (and nights) had to contain another layer of tasks and activities, and all that while we watch out for this new unknown virus, and learn to deal on a whole new level of uncertainty. It’s odd to think of the stuff we could count on just a year ago when planning.

My family continued to be my core of strength, a way to find comfort and also some distraction, but one of the things I really miss is time for myself. I gained renewed appreciation for going outside and seeing other people in person, and I'm very curious to see what will remain different after this is mostly over.

April

In a lot of ways, I am thankful for the last year. Some extraordinarily disruptive things have happened.

My partner and I purchased our first home, my team grew bigger and closer, and I felt the shock waves in both social justice and COVID. I can definitively say, I have never experienced anything like this and as a result, I have never felt this introspective.

Most of my 2020 was not about COVID directly but was more about learning to be alone with my thoughts while not falling into them, realizing that I miss people more than I knew, and being easier on myself when I do not have all the answers or all the control.

The last year also confirmed the strength of our team. Going from a 100% in-office team to 100% remote so quickly and so perfectly was nearly a miracle. I am incredibly proud of my team! I know many people that struggled with their career and this transition, but we did not…and I’m thankful for that. We live on Zoom, Slack, and Hangouts and are still razzle dazzling each other daily.

Yael

This year I learned the difference between "doing fine" and "being happy."

I always thought that if I'd manage to "be ok" throughout different challenges and struggles, I'd find some peace and happiness.
But this year "being fine" was very literal, exhausting, and not rewarding.

I kept thinking of those nature shows that follow a gazelle being chased by a lion. The gazelle crosses a body of water and the lion is left behind, panting.

The gazelle is fine, but knows that tomorrow is another day.

Danielle

For me, having to switch on video conferencing was a big challenge.

I shied away from cameras most of my life (I actually don’t have any pictures of myself since high school:)

Since working remotely has become a big part of my life, I got used to it.

Thank you 2020, one of the things you taught me is how to face changes and challenges and your biggest gift to me is being able to let go a little.

Hadas

I'm a creature of habit (arent' we all?)
So when COVID-19 and the lockdown first struck, I tried my best to ignore it and resist the change — to do things as I used to do them before.

However, I've been forced to redesign my life around the "New Normal."
Suddenly, I had time to pause but I didn't know what to do with it. I was so afraid of all this time I had to spend just with myself.
But I decided to take the opportunity to self-reflect on my life and what I have done with it in the past 36 years.

Now, almost a year later, I'm more appreciative. I'm a better version of myself; I take more responsibility for my well-being. I do not blame everyone and everything; rather ask myself what my part of the situation is.

As Gandhi once says- "be the change you wish to see in the world"; that's my "new normal."
I wish to become a better person, lead by example and face challenges with bravery, not fear.

Ilona

I learned this year what simultaneous multitasking means, not just trying to get a couple of things done, but trying to be more than just one person at once in a small space at the same time.

And it was EXHAUSTING!

I really appreciate now the moments just sitting down with my girlfriends to talk about all of this, I never realized how much I will miss that during the social distancing period.

Tal

I think this year I found my grit...
I managed to spend 3 lockdowns with 2 small kids + full-time job.
It was exhausting and frustrating at times, knowing I'm not doing my best on every side of the equation (personal and professional).
But, nevertheless, I survived stronger and fiercer.
My kids are still alive and respect me to some degree... 🙂 and I even had the courage to change jobs during these weird and uncertain times.
If I survived this year coming out stronger, I can do anything.

Irit

Like everybody else, this year was very different than any other year pre Covid-19.
One thing I couldn’t wrap my mind around was seeing all stores and small businesses shut down, some to never re-open again.
Seeing the “for rent” sign on many businesses doors was heartbreaking.
I really hope to see all small businesses making a comeback this year, and for people to be happier.

Orna

This year I learned to pause.

On a regular day, I am constantly running between work, kids, exercise, family, and endless activities.

During Covid, I learned that pausing is OK and I was so excited to discover completely new sides in my kids.

The last year was far from the best year in my life since there were many struggles and ups and downs, but if you don't learn from falling then you're missing the point 😉

Talia

Unlike many, 2020 was actually a great year for me.
Even my breaking point was a positive step towards a new life.
I found the courage to make a big change, and now I can say that at 27 years old I am finally learning what it’s like to live on my own.
The first lockdown was definitely hard, but I learned new things about myself. Apparently I loath cooking and absolutely love silence.

This courage also brought me a professional victory.
I expressed my thoughts about our users needing more hand holding - specifically an onboarding process after signing up. Fast forward 6 months and I am now implementing our first ever Customer Success initiatives which are already seeing positive impacts in our renewal rates!